Friday, January 25, 2013

things moms say

So pretty soon I'm gonna write a whole post about all the crazy stuff that comes out of mouth during the day, but for now I'm just jot down this little gem:

"Dude, why did you poop on spiderman?"

Saturday, January 5, 2013

The great New Year's "Goals" Post...

Ah yes... the new year... (Worst apocalypse ever, btw. Way to go Mayans)... time to write about all the awesomeness that was me in the year 2012, and plan on how I can get just that much better next year. Because that's just how I roll. I make resolutions, and I keep them. Yeah.... not. So, here is a list of resolutions that I am pretty sure I can potentially keep:

1. Attempt to shower semi-regularly. Some of you are thinking: "What? You don't shower every day?" No. I do not. Sometimes I forget showering is an option... I'm all like "man, my hair is super greasy and I smell horrible... if only there was something I could do about that..." I'm slightly kidding, but also serious. Now, I'm not going to go all crazy and try to shower daily... but maybe every other day. Keep it real. But I'm still only going to wash my hair twice a week. Don't judge me.

2. Feed my children three times a day. I've been doing pretty well with this one, but I feel like it's a worthy goal, so I'll just keep at it.

3. Dress my kids in weather appropriate and fitting clothing. Most of the time.

4. Read to my children at least 30 minutes a day. Or if that fails I could just let them watch some educational shows on PBS. Same thing, really. (Now you don't know if I'm joking or not... I'm going to  keep it that way.)

5. Read a book that was not written by JK Rawling, John Grisham, or Stephanie Meyers (author of Twilight, btw. Team Edward forever!)

6. Be in a good mood 24/7. That's 24 hours a week, 7 months out of the year.

7. Only go to chick-fil-a once a week. This will definitely be the toughest one to keep.

8. I was going to put, "stop watching One Tree Hill during nap time", but that would just be setting myself up for failure. I freaking love that show. I'm not proud of it. But... I will say that I will not start watching any other teenage nighttime soap opera drama. I'll keep it classy, stick to something worthwhile like Wonder Years.

9. Dust my house and clean the baseboards at least once this year. I know there are people out there who do this on a regular basis. That person is not me.

In the spirit of non-conformism, I'm not going to put 10 resolutions. That's right... I'm keeping it at 9.