Birth story

Okay, I am going to try to write down this birth story before the emotions and feeling wear off, and I begin to say idiotic things like: "natural childbirth isn't that bad". If you ever hear me say that.... I'm lying. It's horrible. It's really, really horrible. Doable, totally worth it, empowering, amazing, and horrible. But we will get to that later.... FYI, if you are a man and are squeamish about these things (Andrew, Joel), please don't read.

About 4 hours after I wrote my post about how I will never go into labor I started having strong regular contractions. It was around 2 o'clock AM, and I kept getting woken up by these pains in my stomach. It took me about 3 contractions to realize what they were, and then I started timing them. They were about 5-7 mins apart, and were fairly painful. I decided right then and there that I would have a baby that day. I was gong to go to the hospital very soon, and no matter what, I was not going to leave without a baby. So we called our friend Madison, and she came over around 3:30. At that time contractions were around every 3-5 mins. Yay!!!!!!  Then in the car, they stopped.

That's right... they stopped. I had one about 20 minutes later, and they picked up a little after that, but they were nowhere near as close or as intense as they were at the house. But, I was at the hospital, I was about 4-5 cm dilated, and they admitted me to my room. My midwife Holly was there, and we started doing the paperwork, IV, birthing ball thing. Midwives are awesome, by the way. I highly recommend them. They massaged my back and feet, really worked with me, and were all together fabulous.

But anyways... At around 7 AM I was at an 8, and ready to get into the birthing tub.Yes, I was determined to do a water birth. The tub was awesome. It really really helped with the contractions, but, unfortunately, labor really stalled once again. Contractions were about 8 mins apart and not too painful. Which was great.... but ineffective. So after a couple of hours of waiting it out in the tub, and thinking I was all the way dilated, and trying to push with no luck, I got out of the tub, and back onto the bed.

The midwife (April now, Holly had to go back to the office) checked me again, and it turns out I was still at an 8. And apparently the head was not pressing against the cervix at all. And my water was not completely broken. And I was having no contractions at all. Soooooo.... on with the pitocin. Not fun. However, it was on very low, and it was not unbearable. I was hooked up to the pit for about 2 hours, and it brought me from 8 to 10. We turned it off, made sure I was still contracting well, and I got back in the tub. It's amazing, but immediately after getting in the water the pain of the contractions decrease dramatically. So now I'm ready to go.

So I can labor with the best of them. I can go through transition with pitocin without uttering a sound, and I could do it all day long. Seriously. But, the pushing is another story. The actual act of getting the baby out of me kind of freaks me out. I was pretty terrified. I kept looking at my stomach, wishing there was another way (other than cutting me open) that this baby could just appear in my arms. I did a couple of fake pushes, trying to get into a comfortable position. I had this image of me pushing into eternity, never able to get the baby out. It's really quite a frightening thought. I really just wanted a guarantee that I would only have to push one time, as opposed to the three hour ordeal I went through with Leah (except with Leah I had an epidural). If I could have gotten that guarantee, I think I would have been less anxious, but, alas, it's impossible to give said guarantee.

So anyways, after about 15 mins of contractions and fake pushes, I made up my mind that this baby was coming out. The next contraction I pushed with all my might, and she came right on out. I guess this pushing lasted about 2-5 minutes, and all that was running through my mind was "#$#@&&&&*********$$$##@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  I REMEMBER THIS PART NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  The horror and pain of those 5 minutes is already fading. But let me tell you.... It's terrible. It's hard to describe the feeling. Oh wait... it's not hard to describe at all. It's like a baby is coming out of your vagina.

Interesting tidbit: my midwife broke her hand while delivering little Elana. Apparently she slipped while trying to get her shoulder dislodged, and her hand went to the bottom of the tub, thereby breaking it. Her 4th metacarpal to be exact. I feel terrible about that. I'm going to  have to send to her flowers.

So there it is... the birth story in a nutshell.