waiting

Okay, so my due date was friday. And this is my third baby. This was not supposed to happen. I have tried so hard prepare myself for going late, but the truth is I don't any woman is emotionally prepared to handle the comments, the waiting, the false labor, sporadic contractions, and the feeling of being in limbo. I had to restrain myself from making rude comebacks to the sweet old ladies from church who exclaimed for the 3 sunday in a row "wow, you're still here! Don't have the baby in the sanctuary!"

Right now it's 11:00 pm on sunday night, and I'm on night 2 of random annoying sporadic, semi-painful but not really contractions. I was convinced this morning at around 6:00 am that I would be heading to the hospital soon.... and then the contractions stopped. I was convinced that contractions would start again around 1:00 pm, like they did with Eli, but they didn't. I was convinced that by the time I got ready for bed, they would be long, strong, and regular (that's what she said) but they aren't. Now I am semi-convinced that I will never birth this baby. Now I know that this is not possible. I'm pretty sure that every pregnant woman in the history of the world has, eventually, one way or another, gotten the baby out of her. I have full confidence that my OB's and midwives will not let me go on being pregnant forever. But at this point, I'm having a hard time believing it.

I keep telling myself to trust God, to trust his timing, to realize that his plans are always better than mine. But it's difficult when all I want is to hold this baby outside of my body.

So anyways, here's a cute picture of Elias in his little hat :)

and this gorgeous one of Leah: